Have you considered what your obituary will say? It is said that the only two certainties in life are death and taxes, so spending a little time contemplating those things may be helpful. Thinking and planning about the one will hopefully keep you out of hot water with the IRS. Thinking and planning about death, though, is an even more uncomfortable topic than thinking about taxes.
There are many quotes about “a life well lived” that try to distill what it is to reflect on what is left behind when we die. Not many of us are intentionally considering what will be left behind as a legacy. Erwin McManus says “A life well lived is an exquisite work of art”. What is the work of art that you are creating, moment by moment, day by day, year by year?
It is so easy to be distracted in today’s social media 24/7 news driven culture. There is always going to be something that appears interesting in the moment, but so often that first step into the lives of others becomes a rabbit hole down which many fall and are lost for hours. It’s a good thing to be aware of what is happening elsewhere, but not when it is to the extent of ignoring the artistic endeavor to which each human is called to create.
There is a writing exercise that I (and others) believe can clarify and inform whether the path one is on in that inevitable march toward the end of life is the one creating the legacy, that “exquisite work of art” that most of us would really like to see fulfilled. It is to write one’s own obituary. This is not nearly as dark as that might seem in the moment, because it can actually shine light on where the path one is on currently will take her.
The first step is to write the “ideal” obituary. This is the collection of descriptors of all the risks and accomplishments a life well lived will have in it. Questions to ask when creating this might include:
Understanding the path one is on is the first step to developing a plan for fulfilling the vision for life. A vision for life might be something along the lines of “I am living a creative life where I inspire others to create their personal “exquisite work of art”. A mission statement would then include how that is acted out: “I will empower individuals to embrace their creativity and live authentically by guiding them to discover, shape, and express their unique “exquisite work of art”—their life. Through inspiration, encouragement, and meaningful connection, I will cultivate a space where imagination flourishes and personal transformation becomes a masterpiece.”
The ideal obituary is then a compilation of how that mission was fulfilled, including the acts of encouragement and meaningful connection, the people impacted by those acts and how that fulfilled the vision for life.
The second part of the exercise is to take a close look at where one is in the present. If life were to continue along the path that has been established to this point, how would the obituary read? Would it be one of decisions made that were not in alignment with the core values and ideals? Or would it require some minor course corrections along the way to bring it into alignment? Or maybe, the obituary that is a natural reading of continuing on the current pathway indicates that some significant changes need to be made in order to more closely reflect the core values, vision and mission of one’s life.
We all need a map that has a starting and ending point before the path makes any sense. Using this exercise of writing the obituary of the life you’re living can bring clarity and direction to where you are, where you want to be and how best to get there.
Author: Rhonda Campbell-Minnich, LCSW, JSOCC